All The Single Ladies

There must be something in the water. I'm convinced. Recently, I've heard ridiculous breakup stories that included guys saying the most ridiculous things. Such as:

"I'm sorry, I just can't dial into this relationship right now"

"You don't go to the gym enough"

"You never talk about your job or what you do while at your job. It makes me think you lack passion and ambition."

I could go on, but you get the point.

What the F?!?!

I'm trying to think of the breakups I've gone through and the stupid things that were said to me, but apparently I've blocked them out. I remember how the worst ones have happened: three hours before a graduation trip to Virginia Beach; the night before a Chemistry final in college - those are the ones that stick out and make me feel queasy even thinking about them. But I don't remember the exact words that were used - though I'm sure they were similar to the ones above.

Which brings me to my next point.

Thank goodness. Thank goodness for me that the struggling actor, the bipolar finace guy, the alcoholic journalist (I could go on and on) broke my heart and left me. I can look back now and say THANK GOD!!!!!!! And soon, one day in the near future, my fabulous friends will say, "I dodged a major bullet - now I'm free to find guys worthy of my time."

In the meantime, though, they are allowed to cry and eat lots of ice cream and drink tons of wine.

So here's a shout out to all the single ladies - when that song comes on, I'm going to dance extra hard for you and pull out my best moves in your honor!